I feel like boycotting my departure flight on Saturday. Maybe it's the sad music that I have on right now ("What Hurts the Most," by The Rascal Flatts"), but I don't want to leave. I just .. I don't know. The anxiety that I had pre-London was so intense that I debated backing out of the program. But I got over it and forced myself to come here; I mean, why shouldn't I have? It's been a dream to be here, to see all that I've seen. I've harbored the dream for so long, always thinking that it would never come to fruition. When other people talked about going to Europe, I sighed wistfully and felt like crying. I never thought I would make it here.
But now that I am here .. I don't want to leave. I feel like I've found my niche here in London. I've found a place where I feel like I fit in, completely. Well, almost completely. My American accent has gotten a bit of a bad reaction from some people, but once they get passed the fact that I'm from America, they see me as a person.
As I sit and think to myself, I begin to wonder something. If and/or when I come back to London in the future, will it be as good? Or was my experience made better because of the friends that I found on the first day? Would London be the same with Anna, Callie, Sally, Ali, and Laura? Would it be the same without the Greyhound, Kavanaugh's, Arch Angels, and all of the people we've befriended there? Would it be the same without the inside jokes? Would it be the same without hanging out at the Greyhound way past closing time? I don't know. Honestly. I don't know whether London will be as good the second time 'round. But then I think to myself .. how could it not be? It's LONDON.
Time has gone far faster than I thought possible this past year. Between the end of sophomore year and now the end of my London excursion, I don't know how time goes so fast. But it makes me realize how valuable every little drop of it is. It is so very important to milk every second for what it's worth. I hope I can keep this lesson with me once I'm back in the States.
... If I end up going back to the States, that is. (;
(Just kidding - I'm coming back. I'm just going to put up a fight about it.)
2 comments:
I am so happy to hear that you enjoyed London so much! Although I've never been there, I had always heard great things, and now with your expert experience I know all I heard is true!
When you do eventually get back to the states, I hope we can meet up one day and chill. When I was in the city the other day I was thinking about you. And then I randomly ran into a friend on the street I hadn't seen in years (the one I told you about who I went on a date with and asked if his parents expected him to marry and then he told me he was adopted...yeah story of my life asking stupid ques)...anyway it was pretty crazy, and that's a really random story that I just shared lol, guess it's late here.
Do you have skype? If you do add me I'm Laurie.Malia, it allows you to talk for free over the computer it's a pretty sweet deal.
talk to you soon!
take care.
cheers!
laurie
I found you on Skype and friended you. I'm all about it - I love it!
I'm flattered that you've been keeping up with my excursions. They're really quite boring and routine, I feel .. you know .. going to class during the day, grabbing food, going out at night .. but I don't know. I don't think I could've asked for a better experience, you know?
I really do hope we can meet up this summer. Just give me a call (you have my number, right?) whenever you're in the area. Or if you want to come down for a day or two or something. Don't hesitate! I have to meet your brother, after all. (;
<333
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